Life's such a soap opera!

About 12 years ago when I first moved to Bournemouth, I shared a flat with another girl.

My flatmate always watched the TV soap 'Eastenders' so, rather than sit in my room all alone, I started watching it with her.  We used to look forward to our evening ritual and try to guess who would feature in the poignant last scene of each episode, when the title music would come on, or "who would get the duff-duffers" as we called it. 

(If you've never seen 'Eastenders', look up the ending theme tune on YouTube and when you hear the first few seconds, you'll instantly know what I mean by duff-duffers!)

I started to notice that when the characters were sad or arguing, my feelings started to get dragged along on an emotional roller-coaster.  Sadly, as 'Eastenders' storylines tend to be bad more often than good, I soon stopped watching it on the grounds that it was too depressing.

Over the years I have observed myself being emotionally affected by TV shows, books, films. Well of course we all are - that's why we enjoy them so much isn't it?

These media can make us laugh, cry, they can terrify us and uplift us with such speed and efficiency that we don't even realise what's happening until afterwards.

But I want to ask - is that a good thing? What about the energetic consequences?

According to the law of attraction, if we start emitting angry or sad thoughts or emotions, then the universe will respond like for like and send more sad or angry situations our way.

My question is why would we intentionally do that to ourselves?

Last year, I went to see the film Skyline at the cinema.  I love a good sci-fi movie, to my disappointment however, this wasn't what I had hoped.

The advertising had lead me to believe that it was an exciting sci-fi action film, and I was expecting something along the lines of Independence Day. A good yarn with amazing special effects, lots of action and excitement , and the good guys win in the end.

The special effects were good, but there was zero storyline that I could discern, and I spent the best part of two hours watching a full-on slaughter-fest, with helpless people being wiped out by alien machines.

It was basically a horror film, and as a gentle soul who doesn't enjoy the horror genre, I hated every minute of it.

I left the cinema feeling as though I'd been in a car crash; shaking, tearful and angry. I honestly felt as though I had been emotionally assaulted and spent the drive home trying not to burst into tears.

Granted, being a clairvoyant medium maybe I am a bit on the sensitive side compared to some, but seeing people suffer, whether imaginary or otherwise really upsets me. Surely that's just a natural human reaction?

So I have to ask - why do so many people seem to enjoy gritty depressing drama and horror so much?

How can you get pleasure from pain, enjoyment from suffering, happiness from so much sadness?

I started asking people I know who really seem to enjoy these negative genres.

The most common responses so far have been "because it makes me feels better about my own life"  and "it's not real".

No, it's not real, but the emotions you feel most definitely are.

Humans crave drama.  As if there wasn't enough suffering and drama in our lives, for some reason, we go looking for more.

TV & cinema provide the perfect 21st century way to experience the emotions and energy that goes with suffering and drama without any of the hassle of getting into those tricky situations yourself.

Is it simply that our soul needs to experience those things in this lifetime or is this our ego's way of keeping us in fear & distracting us from greater truths?

There is no direct scientific evidence linking acts of unkindness or crime with watching horror and cruelty on TV and film, so is the effect simply a more subtle energetic one that science and statistics might have overlooked?

I think so.

It also begs the question; why as sentient, supposedly intelligent, energetic creatures do we still seek out things to harm ourselves with, on the grounds that we "enjoy" it?

Could this be the Monkey Mind that the Buddha talked about? The part of us that loves to chatter away about nonsense, get wrapped up in drama and keep us from finding our true divine nature and our enlightenment?

I don't know, but answer me this:

Would the Dalai Lama watch Eastenders for fun? Who knows.

I'll leave that one for you to make your own mind up about, but suffice to say, I won't be watching it!

Spirituality v Technology

I am often asked questions about how technology and electronic devices affect my psychic abilities.

Chatting to some of my spiritually minded friends recently, I took out my iPhone to show my friend an oracle card app that I recently acquired which enables you to have your own reading using a virtual deck.

We got to talking about modern technology, and she went on to tell me a story about a psychic who says she has to isolate herself from any computers, electronic equipment or similar to conduct her work otherwise their "negative ions would affect her abilities". 

"So Helen,"  I was asked, "do you find computers affect you when you're doing spiritual work?"

I looked at her absolutely aghast, cradling my beloved iPhone in my hands like a precious  jewel.

"No!" I exclaimed,  "I love computers, my iPhone is like a child to me and my laptop is my best friend!"

In fact, I have to use psychic shielding for my laptop and iPhone, because my energies can affect them!

She was a little surprised by my response, and went on to describe how all of the other "spiritual" people, psychics, healers and the suchlike that she had encountered, felt that technology and spirituality were incompatible, and did I not feel the same?

I have to ask - since when did we decide that technology & spirituality don't mix?  This question puzzled me for some time.

Is it simply a modern rehash of the old fashioned rivalry of Church versus Science? I fear so.

Surely we have moved past the bad old days when the church insisted the earth was flat and scientists insisted it was round?

Even the Dalai Lama has been recorded as saying that he could not rule out the possibility that one day we could reincarnate as a computer.

I also suspect there is an underlying technophobia among some of the older generation of psychics, therapists and mediums. People who perhaps never had any need to use computers and maybe feel a little alienated by the modern technology that many of us wield with such ease.

I was brought up with computers, owning my first PC as a teenager.  I can't imagine not having a computer in the house, and the tendinitis in my right arm is testament to my dedication to fully participating  the modern technological age. Ha ha!

There's no reason why technology isn't spiritual - we are all spirit beings, and everything in this world, including us, comes from the same universal source, so technology and science must be  just as spiritual as everything else .

The supernatural is just science that we haven't worked out how to explain yet.

Any volunteers to help me try? ;)

Positive Thoughts, Positive Life

Positive Mental Attitude.  One of the most sought after, and misunderstood states of mind.

Being positive and having a positive attitude is wonderful. Life is much happier, you keep the blues at bay and you are seemingly immune to depression!

I spent many years of my life suffering from depression, and it seemed to me that being positive was just impossible. It was something that other people achieved, but not me.

"Surely nobody can really be completely positive and happy all the time?" I thought,  " Your life would  have to be perfect first, and that's not going to happen!"

Despite that, many people unhelpfully kept telling me that I needed to stop being so negative, or that I needed to be positive.  That really didn't help much, because not one of them told me how!

I think they were just saying it because it's such a buzz-word. Most of them were pretty negative people themselves. The words pot, kettle and black sprang to mind - in no particular order...

I've always been fascinated by the human mind, and it's mysterious workings.  In my early twenties I was diagnosed with depression, and in the following years I made it my mission to find out exactly what caused it, and what could be done.

I simply couldn't accept the doctor's spiel about it being " a chemical unbalance", there had to be more to it than that. And so my journey began.

I read books about depression, mental illness, psychology, families (and how to survive them) and bit by bit I finally started to get it.

Depression may show up as an imbalance in the brain, but it's your thoughts that cause the imbalance  in the first place.

This ties in perfectly with the Law of Attraction - Thoughts Become Things. Yes they most certainly do! Negative thoughts become a chemical imbalance in the brain and become depression!

Change your thoughts, and you change your state of mind.

Beautifully simple, but not so easy to achieve.

It felt like a chicken & egg situation. How do I stop being depressed? By having positive thoughts. But I'm depressed because I don't have many positive thoughts so how do I suddenly start having them?!

Well, it's like this.  Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it.

Over  a period of years, I have retrained my brain.   

A real light-bulb moment came when I discovered this  second truth:

Your thoughts are not you. They're just thoughts!

Just because a negative thought crosses your mind, you don't have to agree with it. Your thoughts shouldn't  control you, that's like the tail wagging the dog!

For instance, you might drop a cup of tea on the carpet, and your mind goes "I'm such an idiot", well guess what. You're not an idiot and you can stop those negative thoughts.

Many of the thoughts we have, happen without us really thinking about them. (Read that again, yes thoughts without thinking!) and by that I mean they run on auto-pilot.

You drop something - auto thought kicks in with "You're an idiot!"

You get dumped by your boyfriend - auto thought kicks in with "I'm such a loser, who would possibly want me now?"

You fail an exam - auto thought kicks in with "I'll never amount to anything!"

And so on, and so on, and so on until you feel terrible about yourself.

Did you ever stop to think where these thoughts were coming from?

I'll tell you. They come from programming in your brain that you've picked up during your life. It will have started at childhood, and has probably continued for your whole life.

Your brain has hard wired itself to automatically produce thoughts in response to situations. That doesn't mean that those thoughts are yours, or that they're even any good for you. It's just what your brain has learned from influential people and situations in your life. That Is All.

Chances are you don't like or even agree with the thoughts, but because they're in your head, you think they're yours!

I suggest that you start to monitor your thoughts, and if you find yourself having one you don't like, throw it out and think a new one that you do.

It takes a little effort and practise, but I desperately wanted to knock depression on the head, so I persevered with it.

Positive affirmations are brilliant for this. Regular repetition of positive statements will eventually  rewire the brain, even if you don't believe them at first.

I'll start you off. Say aloud the following:

I am a loveable person. I deserve to be happy.

I am happy and relaxed.

I love myself.

If you don't believe these as you're saying them,  or you can't bring yourself to say them at all, you definitely need them!

All in all, I've learned that being positive doesn't mean that you're always happy or that everything is always perfect in your life.

It just means that you've taken control of your mind and your thoughts, and you're able to stay in a positive mind set, and stay happy and at peace within yourself, no matter what life throws at you.

I waved goodbye to depression a few years ago, and I won't be going there again. I am no longer plagued by thoughts that beat me up and make me feel bad. If one pops into my head, I just kick it into touch, and replace it with a better one.

 I am in control, I choose my thoughts and guess what - I choose good ones!

And so can YOU.

There's No Place Like Home?

Facebook keeps asking me where my "HomeTown" is.

I realised some time ago that I don't have an answer to that question. I'm not even sure what it means.

What is my HomeTown? The town I was born in? The one where my parents live? The place I feel most at home?
That would be 3 different places for me!

For a long time I've felt that there really is no place like home for me.

I've felt very uprooted ever since I moved house for the first time aged 11 and left the town I had always considered to be my home, Weymouth, Dorset on the South coast of England.

I remained faithful in my love for the town, but it didn't remain faithful to me.
When I returned aged 18, it just didn't feel like home anymore. We'd both changed so much. I knew I could never live there again.
It just wasn't my home town anymore.

Surely your hometown is a place you can call home, a place you feel at home and where you feel welcomed when you arrive?
Weymouth didn't do that for me any more. I felt like I was grieving for my own life!

I've wandered and drifted a lot in my life, looking for meaning, for love and I've never been able to put roots down anywhere. In the past 22 years, I've moved house 19 times. Yes 19 times!
No wonder I'm fed up with it!

The pain and up-rootedness I felt as a child upon being forced to leave my "HomeTown" has stayed with me and in some ways I feel it prevented me from ever feeling I had a home.

The nearest I have to a HomeTown now is where I currently live & the town I seem to be drawn back to over and over.

I live in Bournemouth, on the South coast of England. Not so far from my first HomeTown of Weymouth, but a much more accessible, grown up town with proper shops, jobs and opportunity.

Bournemouth has become my adopted Home-Town. (Is that allowed?) My closest friends, my chosen family live there.

Everything is familiar, known, and each time I've moved away, I've found myself drawn back again and again.

Bournemouth always looks after me. There's always somewhere I can live, there's always been work for me here and the town and beach are so beautiful in the summer sun.

I guess that would make it my HomeTown.

I may not be originally from Bournemouth, I wasn't born here, I certainly didn't go to school here, but when all's said and done, it's My Home.

So maybe your HomeTown is the one that you choose after all.