It's really notfair. I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't deserve that.
The sad truth isthat just because you didn't do anything wrong, doesn't mean that you can't gethurt.
I hear this so manytimes when relationships break down, or people are treated with unkindness, orreceive a "punishment" that they really didn't deserve. It saddens medeeply, but it seems to be a part of life for all of us at some point or other.
I found myself inthis very situation at the end of last year following the end of a personalrelationship, where everybody who knows me agreed that I really didn't doanything wrong, but I still got horribly hurt.
As my friendJeanette bluntly put it "He's just an *sshole"!
Well, I can't arguewith that.
I have made it arule that I always try to be kind & give people the benefit of the doubt inlife. I have learnt from painful experience however that for every kind heartedgiver, there is a taker who will take and take and take some more from you, withoutremorse, for as long as you keep on giving. And woe betide you if you stop!
A phenomenon that Ihave encountered recently is people who appear to be givers, but who give tothe wrong people. They give to the takers, but not to other givers who wouldhelp them in exchange.
In a way they are nobetter or happier than the takers, and another group to avoid!
Life isn't alwaysfair, and there are lots of lessons to learn. Through these sometimes harshlessons, much wisdom is available to you, if you are prepared to see it.
The world is one biguniversity, and we'll all be attending for the rest of our lives whether welike it or not, so it's best to lean your lessons well so you can spot thetakers and keep a safe distance.
Wisdom is simplyknowledge, applied.
That's not to saythat you should stop being a kind or giving person, just learn to be a littlemore discerning about the people you encounter, and learn to see the warningsigns.
You'll know thatyou're getting the hang of this when each time a similar situation arises, youcan recognise it faster & walk away.
Like many of us,I've had plenty of failed relationships, both with romantic partners andfriends.
Despite getting hurttime after time, I simply refuse to allow it to make me into a bitter, twistedor unkind person. The world has enough of those already, I shan't be joiningtheir ranks!
I pick myself upwith the help of my wonderful friends, put myself back together again, and moveon with an open and loving heart, ready to be kind to the next person I meet.
When you do find theright one, it'll be worth it.
Lovely blog post Helen. Your heart will heal and you will be a better person. And you are right, it's all relationships. The loss of a friendship hurts deeply. The loss of innocence, the sense of betrayal...all add up to grief. This too shall pass, we can choose to become better for the experience, or worse. Choose happy everytime!
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