Monday, 7 May 2012

Nothing Changes Unless YOU Change It


I overheard a conversation between two officer workers at lunch the other day. They were commiserating about what a hard life they had at work and how rubbish it all was.

Just as they were finishing their lunch break, I heard one say:
"Nothing (insert expletive) changes around here, I wonder what (another expletive) we're in for this afternoon?" to which his friend heartily agreed, and off they trooped, back to their desks, like good worker ants.

I should point out that both men have worked for their company for as long as I can remember, so since at least 1999. That's 13 years!

They haven't done anything much to try and change their position in that time so why would they expect anything to be different?

I was a little shocked by their negative attitude, but even more shocked by the fact that although they clearly weren't particularly happy or fulfilled, they didn't seem prepared to do anything about it either.

Then it hit me.  Maybe they just didn't realise that there was anything they could do.

Change is scary for anybody, whether you want to admit it or not. I had to conclude that the two men in question either just weren't that motivated to change and find something new, or they were too frightened to start afresh.

I have heard similar laments in staff feedback forums, where people go on about how unfulfilled they are, how much they dislike their job, their conditions, their desk, the person they have to sit next to etc.  They all have one big thing in common. They are all happy to sit and whinge about it, but almost none of them has taken any real action to make themselves happier, or to change their situation. At best they might go and work for a different company, and just find new things to whinge about.

There's a recession, so the media keep telling us, and the company I'm talking about (which shall remain nameless), is actually a pretty good one to work for. They are doing well, and the staff have had bonuses & pay rises this year, there's lots of recognition for achievement, internal progression opportunities, flexible working hours if needed and you are pretty well looked after.  To be fair, things could be a lot worse than working there.

And yet despite all this, the staff whinge!

Why all the whinging?!

Could the whinging be a smokescreen to hide their own personal inadequacies, their own fear of change and lack of getting up off their backsides to do something? A way for their mind to keep them conveniently distracted so they don't try to step out of the mould and make a change?

It's true that the mind doesn't like change. Specifically a very ancient and basic part of your mind called the Limbic Brain. Change is unknown, change is scary. Your limbic brain will try all kinds of tricks to keep you from changing.

Don't get me wrong,. This part of your mind really does have your best interests at heart, it wants you to survive. Change is an unknown quantity, and for all it knows you could get eaten by a bear.

But the key word here is survive. It knows nothing of being happy and fulfilled, it's just trying to keep you alive. Unfortunately, if working in an unfulfilling office job and feeling depressed each day keeps you alive then that's cool.

If you start to have dreams about new things which are unknown to your limbic brain, it's going to freak out and try to stop you. It does this using fear.  Fear is the limbic brain's best defence and the one thing that holds people back from living their dreams. It's not lack of money, lack of resource, lack of education. You can get all of these things, you can work around them. If you're determined enough you'll always find what you need to succeed, but you can't do any of these things if you're paralysed by fear.

In the words of Susan Jeffers, if you want to be happy and fulfilled, it's time to "Feel the Fear, and Do It Anyway!"

So get your big girl (or big boy) panties on, get out there, start living your dreams and stop whinging!

Recommended reading: Feel the Fear & Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers

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