Don't get too big for your boots!

"Don't get too big for your boots!"

I was thinking about this saying recently after seeing somebody shot down in flames on Facebook for voicing an opinion and taking a stand. They were accused of sounding "arrogant and conceited".

Sadly that person was me!

It reminded me of the old and often unkindly used adage "Don't get too big for your boots!" that I've heard used against people many times in my life. It's an expression I've never been happy with. It just doesn't resonate with me, it seems cruel and unkind.

It got me wondering; why do we say it? Where did this expression even come from in the first place?

The definitions I looked up online all agree that this expression signifies one who is conceited, arrogant or has an exaggerated self-image. 

But why, I ask, would getting too big for an item of clothing be a bad thing?

As a child, if I got too big for a pair of shoes or boots, it simply meant that I was growing, which is something children and their parents are usually glowingly proud of. Growing is celebrated in childhood, birthdays and landmark achievements are glorified and something to rejoice.

As children we are encouraged to learn and grow, but as adults the tables turn on us, and any kind of growth or positive change is much less supported, or worse maligned by those around us, eager to "bring us down a peg."

The message behind this saying is loud and clear to me:  

Don't grow or better yourself too much! Don't you dare be better than me!

Why would we say that to people? Surely to grow is a good thing? Why would we hold them back?

I suspect this expression was coined by someone who was envious of another's growth or intimidated by their progress compared to their own.

It's certainly much easier to bring somebody else down who's improving themselves and perhaps making you feel inferior, than it is to put the work in yourself and join them.

It's an attitude that any successful person has undoubtedly come up against at some point in their life, and it's a tough one to overcome, because it plays on your insecurities. Nobody wants to be thought of as conceited or arrogant by others, but if we let others' opinions of us, which are often based in fear, influence our decisions, we will never be all that we can be.

This provokes an internal struggle between who and what we aspire to be and the old programming we received from the society or family we grew up in. 

Society wants us to conform, not stand out.

Thinking logically though, we no longer live in the old upper & lower class society where it wasn't acceptable to "rise above your station," where the working or peasant classes were repressed and not given any opportunity to better themselves. Despite this,  many of these old ingrained and backward beliefs still appear to linger, like ghosts of the past trying to scare us back into mediocrity.

Well, I challenge you to dare to be different and shine your light! Blow your own trumpet! Toot your horn!

Nobody said expanding your comfort zone and growing as a person would be easy, but I'll admit I wasn't expecting it to be quite so hard either.

If you get "too big for your boots," then it's clearly time to go out and buy a new pair that fit you better.

And next time it happens to me, maybe I'll get myself a new pair of fabulous heels while I'm there!