'Tis the Season to be... Selfish?

It's October. There are 71 days until the big day at the time of writing this article. Yes you guessed it - I'm talking about Christmas, Yule, The Holiday Season if you will.

We've not even had Hallowe'en yet and the shops are already  bombarding us with Christmas lights, tinsel, apparel, foods (which incidentally will be long out of date by the actual holiday), alcohol and the usual mountains of toys and silly "stocking filler" and "must-have" gifts.

Am I turning into a grumpy old lady or is this holiday stuff getting more ridiculous every year?

Now, I have nothing against being organised and planning your holiday in advance, budgeting and perhaps buying presents throughout the year, but I've been seeing this sort of thing since September. It all feels a little excessive, and perhaps a bit desperate on the part of the shops and our society as a whole.

Buy, buy, buy! The adverts scream at us - Eat, eat, eat! Greed, greed, greed!

I'm sorry to say it, but our vacuous, celebrity-worshipping, narcissistic culture has really lost the meaning of this holiday and turned it into a monstrous, brightly lit, greed-fest that glorifies selfishness and gluttony.

Instead of carols, when I think of this holiday, I hear the sounds of screaming spoilt children (I can't believe you got me a Blackberry - I wanted an iPhone5!) and the images that fill my mind are not of giving and sharing, but of senseless hoarding, overeating, social exclusion and waste.

Oh yes, I hear you say, we all know about the starving children in Africa, but there's nothing we can do about that! Anyway I gave £2 to a charity 6 months ago, so I've done my part!

Have you really?

What about the people closer to home who are simply left out at Christmas time? The lonely, the excluded, the undesirables, the ones with no family. The elderly left in care homes, the sick in hospitals whose relatives either don't care or can't be bothered to visit their "cantankerous" old uncle, the homeless, the invisible ones, the "normal" ones who just have nowhere to go?

Why is it left to a few good people who volunteer at the holidays (or have to work because it's their job) to try and make the day less empty for these people?

Now, I'm sure I don't need to teach you about the meaning of the holiday in question here - no matter your belief system or faith, it's supposed to be a time of sharing, kindness and warmth. We all know this, we were all taught this in our schools, places of worship and/or family homes, so why do most of us fail to actually live up to that? Why do we pretend that everything's fine and just stuff our faces, drink ourselves silly and end up half-comatose, watching the Holiday Specials in front of the TV, without more than a thought for our fellow man who may not be so lucky?

Why do we not do more for others in the season of "goodwill to all men." Where is your goodwill or do you just pay lip-service to the sentiment like most people?

This may shock you but I found myself left alone at Christmas once, 12 years ago and it was the most depressing experience I've ever had. It was a shock to me too. I was in a new area with no friends to speak of, family who either lived miles away, or who selfishly told me I wasn't welcome and made no effort to include me even when I begged them to, and colleagues who just didn't care. When I mentioned it in passing, one colleague asked me not to talk about it because it was "making him feel depressed!" 

The only person who tried to help was a girl who barely knew me. 

What saddens me most is that my story is not unique - I was just one of thousands, some of whom didn't even have a roof over their heads or food to eat. I thank my lucky stars that I wasn't homeless that year too! 

Kudos to all the volunteers and workers who do what they can to include and look after the needy, helpless, lonely and ill during the holiday season. If you've never been alone at Christmas, you probably wont understand how heartbreaking it is to have to spend this "family" holiday alone . The dreadful feeling of social exclusion, not daring to turn on the TV because you know that every channel will be trying to shove it down your throat, reminding you over and over of how unwanted you are. It's more than you can bear, believe me.

There's a lot more everybody can do than they actually do, so I'm calling upon your conscience - this year make a difference. In this day and age, in such rich Western countries as ours, no one should be excluded or left out. No excuses.

Can you invite the lonely little old lady down the road and make an extra space at your table? Can you spare a few hours or gift for a needy child? Do you really "need" all that food?

Instead of allowing our children to think all about Me, Me, Me, and I Want, like the TV ads and retailers brainwash them to focus on for their shareholders' selfish gain, let's teach them to look after others. 

It's time to walk the talk, lead by example. 'Do as I say, not as I do' just doesn't work.

In a time when depression is at an all time high and people complain more than ever that their lives are empty and lacking meaning, this is so important to learn early on. Objects wont make you happy or fill your heart with joy (well not for long anyway). Things don't matter - people do.

Let's teach our children to make a difference. Let's be the difference.

~

A big thank you to the wonderful Michelle Ruffle who provided the inspiration for this article. Let our Christmas holiday volunteering be filled with fun, laughter and dressing up!

Leave no man behind!