Sunday, 25 November 2012

Cast not thy Pearls before Swine...


I've been reminded of this saying a few times over the past couple of weeks, and boy is it ever true! It's one that my own dear Daddy has reminded me of many times in my life, and is all too easily forgotten.

For those of you unfamiliar with this expression, here is the passage from the Bible, Matthew 7:6

"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you."

Whilst I'm not a religious person, (I prefer to call myself 'spiritual') there is a lot of wisdom to be gained from these simple words. 

Giving your time, efforts or objects to people who won't appreciate them is a big waste of energy. 

I see so many people doing this, and then even worse, giving their power away, by allowing those other people's judgements to dictate whether they have done well or deserve any praise. 

Other people should not be given control over your self esteem. Your life is not an episode of X-Factor!

~

A friend lamented to me recently about a failed relationship in which he gave his all, and went far beyond the call of duty, all to no avail. It seems that much like the proverbial pigs, the woman in question just wasn't able to appreciate his efforts, no matter what he did, and he was left feeling well and truly trampled on.

I reminded him of this expression, and pointed out that sometimes, it's not you. It's them.

I sagely repeated the words told to me by the very wise Jeanette at the end of my own, equally horrible, last relationship:

"You are lovely and she is just an a**hole. End of story." 

(Yes, ladies and gentlemen, sometimes the Myth Buster does swear.)



I was reminded of this saying again last week, whilst working online, on Oranum.com.  I'm one of the resident psychics and I offer my services, giving live readings to members of the public.

When I'm online, part of my job includes doing "Demo Readings" which means that I occasionally have to do a free, public reading for a member of the site, on webcam, with lots of people watching. In theory, it's great for demonstrating how I work, and answers a lot of questions people have about my style of reading etc.

This demo however, was not was I was expecting. Normally, I can pick the site member I want to do a reading for, but this time, something went a bit wrong (darn you Mercury Retrograde!) and I ended up with a rather nasty man who made it his mission to try and torture me for the whole 30 minutes.

An unpleasant game of "test the psychic" ensued.

He spent his time merrily telling me that I was getting everything wrong, only to have to take it back later in the conversation, when I pointed out some truths about him that he couldn't deny. At one point he even became rude and abusive. It took all my award-winning customer service skill not to tell him where to go! 

I know that despite his disparaging remarks, I did a great job, both with the reading and in managing an extremely difficult customer.

~

So please remember, just because somebody else doesn't appreciate you or your efforts, it doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. In fact you may have surpassed all your expectations and achieved a personal best.

Just don't make the mistake of allowing others to be the judge of that.

You are the boss of your life, and if you think you did well, then gosh darned it, you did. And congratulations from me to boot.

You are so much better, kinder, wiser and stronger than most people will give you credit for in this lifetime.

You Rock! And I want you to remember that.

8 comments:

  1. LOL! I'm reminded of a dear friend's words to me as I grieved the end of a relationship: 'Everyone is a child of God ~ some of them are just cunningly disguised as A-holes!'

    Words to live by. Great article Helen

    ReplyDelete
  2. I was in a similar "testing of one's mettle" meeting this morning. I used to calm myself with the "don't give pearls to pigs" refrain a while ago, so it's a very welcome reminder to read it in your post. There are times when people are just unable to hear another person because he or she is just too caught up in their own emotional turmoil. I couldn't do anything about the emotions of this person I had a conflict with today, but I did have to speak my truth and not allow his unskillful accusations to go undefended. It's quite a balance! I do ROCK! and was appreciated by the others in the meeting. Sometimes we are chosen to "take one for the team" just because we can!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes! Thanks for the reminder Helen, sometimes it's good to remember not to beat ourselves up for somebody else's behaviour. You handled the situation gracefully, well done you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. While I agree to not being influenced by other people's judgement, I strongly believe that we create all experiences in our lives, also the unpleasant ones.
    nasty people are our teachers, we attract them into our lives for a particular reason - to discover something in ourselves, to address some issues and so on.

    Let's say if somebody would tell me that I am a bad dancer I would be neutral to their comments whereas if somebody questions my parenting skills it can upset me, because sometimes I feel guilty for not devoting too much time to my children.

    In your situation with a nasty man, you might attract him because you could have some doubts about your abilities and he appeared in your life to assure you that you do a brilliant job even with skeptical people, or deep inside you might not be happy with the fact that you have to do demo readings with random people and that man manifested in your life as the response to your thoughts (I'm guessing here)

    it's always good to listen to what kind of emotions this situation triggered in you, what you are most upset about, what is the message of this situation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed Inga, that awkward man was definitely a lesson in self-confidence for me! I was surprised at just how well I handled it, and it made me feel better about myself.
      We are all learning & growing!

      Delete
  5. I'm totally on board with you!!

    I think this subject is percolating in our collective consciousness right now- I just wrote a post about how listening to other people's advice and opinions can tank your business.

    It comes down to this- as a society we are taught to look outside ourselves for acceptance and to determine if we are on the right track and being "good" (or "bad" for that matter.) This is all wrong!!

    We need to look inside ourselves and tune into our own guidance and alignment. Other people's opinions and attitudes have nothing to do with us.

    I say Love yourself. Trust yourself. Accept yourself. Know that you are freaking fabulous!

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is an AWESOME post, Helen. And so true - the way people act is almost never about you, it's about them. Especially when they're being cruel or abusive. Sorry you had to deal with the cranky man during Mercury Retrograde!

    ReplyDelete